''ONE SCHMAL KINE PIDGIN STORY,'' by Amy Williams

Once upon one time dere waz one young girl named Amy. Amy waz 30ish years old and stay living in San Luis Obispo, California. One day wen we been leave school, one purple-green Honu wen jump out from behind one Banyan tree an wen trow Amy to da ground. But just when she almost wen scream for help, Amy had reka notice dat da purple-green Honu stay only licking her face, not going bite em off. An den, Amy wen figurah fo keep da purple-green Honu fo one pet. Nevah have one name so she had go name her pet purple-green Honu ''Shakalaka.'' Wen Amy an her da kine pet had go home already, who you tink was ovah dere on do lanai? Az right, was Amy's Muddah, Kathy. An waaped her jaw fo see da purple-green Honu in da back of Amy right inside da yard! ''Wat iz dat?'' shouted Kathy. ''It's one purple-green Honu,'' answered Amy. ''No dah, I can see dat, Amy, but wat it stay doing heah?'' said Kathy. ''Dis iz my da kine new pet!'' answered Amy. ''Hoo, dats wat you tink?'' remarked Kathy. No get your hopes up. You know Daddy no like purple-green Honus. But, well, I guess, no mattah if you keep him until you Faddah come home.'' So den Amy wen grab Shakalaka by the ear an wen take her new pet inside da house--even wen she had know dat her faddah no like. Inside da house, Amy and Shakalaka had good fun, until Amy's favorite TV show, ''What Not To Wear,'' had start. By dis time Amy had forget all about Shakalaka stay running all ovah da house. Until half way true ''What Not To Wear,'' wen Amy wen come back to reality she wen heah her faddah yelling, ''YOU LOLO!! Amy! Get you boooooooty in da bedroom...NOW!!'' An den Amy had rushed insi da bedroom fo see waz up. Wen she had go in da bedroom, dere waz her Faddah, Patrick, pointing toward da sofa. Somebody going tell me waz going on?'' asked her Faddah. Den, wen Amy had follow her Faddah's fingah where stay pointing, she already know why her Faddah stay so upset. Dere, right in da middle of da sofa, was da biggest pile of Honu doo-doo she eveah seen! ''I no EVEN like know how dat had got dere,'' said Patrick. ''But you bettah go clean em right now! And you bettah get rid of whateveah wen did dis!'' Well, knowing how her Faddah going aack Amy already had know, no sense even ask her Faddah fo keep Shakalaka fo one pet. So den, right away Amy wen fo go look where Shakalaka stay hiding. Afteah looking around, Amy had find Shakalaka undah da table dat Amy did her to play wit da keikis on. ''Come, Shakalaka, time fo find you one new home. Eh, no look at me li-dat, you da one had make doo doo on da sofa! scolded Amy. Tanks eh, cuz of you I neveah going get my own pet Honu!! So den Amy wen take Shakalaka out-si da house and down to da local Old Navy. Dey had one pet section and Amy had know da ownah would try find Shakalaka one good home. So aftah dey wen say good-bye to each uddah, an say tanks to da owner of Old Navy, Amy wen walk back home an try fo dround her sorrows by slamming down a half dozen Guava nectars. But Amy's time fo feel sorry fo herself pau wen her Faddah had remind her about da doo doos she nevah did clean up. An den, right in da middle of da clean-up, Amy came tankful dat somebody else going do da clean up from now on. DA END.

I found this cool website http://www.extreme-hawaii.com/pidgin/funkine/story1.html

I made up this story on the site. It's full of funny pidgin sayings, words, and how to say them. SUPER fun!!

Mahalo!
amy k*